Janurary 2

Today I do something scary.  And honest.  And something I never thought I would do.  Tell 'the world' how much I weigh.

I weigh 380.4 pounds.

You may need a moment to let that sink in.  I know I did.

I weigh in on Monday evenings at my Weight Watchers meetings.  I will post my weight here every Monday.  It is a number.  A number can't hurt me.  But the shame of that number has hurt me.

Here are some other numbers that stick out in my head and history:

175          My weight in high school when I thought I was fat

225          My weight in college when I thought I was fat and beyond hope

260          My weight for most of my late 20s and 30s when I thought I was too fat for everything and
                everyone and would just die the crazy old cat (dog) lady.

301          My weight two years ago.  When I saw the number 3 I thought I would die.  I thought my
                life was over.  Maybe I was depressed.  I don't know.  But it seems, in the blink of an eye, I
                ended up where I am today.

398           Where I was a couple of months ago - just to end on a happy note.

My truth today is that, save for the last one, I would rejoice to be at any of the above weights this minute.  And I will celebrate each one on  my way back down the scale.

Thanks for listening.